Onus

I would like to start things off by quoting that I would always remember this time of my life as the most challenging one--in every conceivable aspect--and I am definitely going to learn a lot in these two months.

Today, I was thinking about all the battles ahead of me in these coming few weeks,and this actually got me feeling all lost and confused. So I am writing this post here for all my friends who are not aware of my current status and more so for myself--as a memory.

The most daunting task ahead of me is to apply to the various Universities in USA for my MS. Collecting information without anyone to counsel is proving to be a real headache. My mother offered me to hire a professional counselling service who usually charge around 15-20k for helping out students with applications. But as it occurs,I just can't convince myself to spend so much money on such things, and so I have decided to do it all by myself.

Let me sum up all the things--that i know so far-- would be needed for my applications. First, I would need to write a Statement Of Purpose (SOP), then i need to make three Letter of Recommendations (LOR), find teachers who would sign those LOR's for me , apply to the GGSIP university for issuing my original Transcripts,collect information about all the universities and various courses, shortlist around 6-7 universities and then form an adapted SOP for each of them. Then,finally fill in the real application form and mail all the documents and of course pay the fee online.

This being said, here is a list of the activities I need to do side by side the aforementioned tasks.

• Work for the Final Review of our project which is scheduled for Monday , 16th Nov 09.
• My navy letter has arrived, got to Fax those guys to change my SSB dates.
• Prepare for internal vivas of all the labs which are also starting from the same date.
• Prepare Innovations for all the labs ( there are three of them ).
• Then on Thursday--19 Nov--some company--Negro or is it Negaro-- is visiting the college for placements,so have to sit for their interview.
• Friday,internal viva of our Minor Project. Need to make a fat report and PPT for the same before the viva.
• Next, Monday External Practicals whole week.
• Then I think I would get a week to prepare for the CAT and my final exams.

This is about it I guess, and I am sure that if I have forgotten anything,I would be reminded of it in the comments. And for now,without wasting another second I would like to get down to writing my SOP.

Forever Antisocial

They teach me to behave in society, they tell me to be nice to others, they teach me to deal with people, and then, they tell me --"Be yourself".

Would someone please explain me how does it work? On one hand, I am being taught to wear a mask every time I step outside the house and on the other, I am being expected to be myself. Is it about surviving out there without losing your identity, or does it involve getting your work done even when you dislike the person you are dealing with. As much as I would hate to agree with the latter, what choice do I have considering the quixotic connotations of the former?

Even if I like someone and can't visit or meet him for certain genuine reasons, it is taken as a sign of my coldness and I am being taunted with phrases like--"So you got the time?" and "Did you forget your way?"-- when I do finally visit him. Now don't you think this behavior is actually fathering the aforementioned "coldness"? Next time even if I have the time to go and meet that person, I would think ten times before doing so,simply for the reason that I don't want to be baited again.So, it takes me to my next question, which is "Do I have to or should I do things which I can't or don't want to, just to be approved by the society?"

On the contrary, when I try to be social and talk nicely to everyone I am being termed as fake. Take for example the Sherlyn Chopra scenario in the ongoing Big Boss 3. During the first two weeks she was being herself and was joking and teasing everyone because of which she was nominated, and then during the next two weeks she was nice to everyone and tried to mix up with others, but she was nominated again,and this time for the reason that she was not being herself ,and is putting on an act.Now what does one do in such a scenario? Does it work like either you are "born social" or you are "forever antisocial"?

And finally, I would like to know what does one do when he can't reveal his anger to his object of antipathy? For example, say I did not approve the words of my teacher(or boss or friend), but I naturally can't unleash my anger on his face for the obvious reasons. Now I have got two options,either to keep that rage inside and ruin my sleep or talk it out with my friends or family--I can abuse that teacher or friend or I can justify how I was right and he was wrong--and feel palliated. Again, I opt for the latter,which takes me to my final question which is "Would you call this back-bitching or me being a double faced person?". Now, since I am being nice to that person (my teacher or boss or good friend) on their face--because I have no other choice-- and then afterwards abusing them behind their back, it does in fact fit in the definition of "back-bitching".

To sum it up then, I understand these questions might not have definitive answers and the answers to some might depend on the specific situation involved. Nonetheless, feel free to leave your opinions in the comments section.